Now that my 21st year Is almost over
Few weeks to go and I’ll be waving goodbye to my most memorable year ever! September 10, 2004… this is the day that I have feared the most in my entire existence in this world. If there were only ways to stop the time that time, I could have surely done it to avoid such foreseeable threats to my plans.
Turning 21 could have been very exciting and promising to me, but it turned out to be torturing and very challenging. If only the climax of my story and every twist of it were taped, I would surely be invited to the Red Carpet. My story would be pretty similar to Tom Hanks’ award winning Forrest Gump. The story ends with the moral lesson everything is working together for good. All the frustration, confusion, pain and tears are paid off in the end. Stories doesn’t always end the way we really want them to be, but every story has its own unique way of saying , “ and they lived happily ever after”.
During this year, I’ve encountered tremendously challenging circumstances in all areas of my life. I’ve almost given up… it’s good that I didn’t know how to. Now, I’m a full fledged young eagle ready to soar high on wings. I’ve learned that the very essence of the “I give up” thing that we used to say when we’re already tired is simply loosing hope. I might have lost perspectives at times, but loosing hope won’t overwhelm me. I am deeply anchored to my Stonghold and Refuge. God has graciously supplied me with love, hope, wisdom and strength to handle such excruciating confusions I’ve been through. I was completely clueless of what I was supposed to do. I was supposed to go to US with my family. Everything’s already set. A school and a job await for me. I’ve got all the plans needed when I get there. The sad part is I wasn’t able to get there… with all my bridges burned over here. Handling that issue was far more complicated than just bearing my shattered dreams and broken heart. Everything clashed down right in front of me. I thought entering the workforce in our beloved country instead of going to Canada would help me a little as I collect myself and the broken pieces of my pride. I tried to apply at call center companies who accept undergrads… but it even aggravated my piling up issues in life. I’ve got nothing left to say to myself but,“ welcome the real world!”. I’ve always passed interviews and exams, but for some unknown reasons something always happen during the final stage of the hiring process. At the end of the day, I would always have painful feet, confused cells and aching heart. I used to ask God why. It’s just now, after a year, that I’ve understood why!
God has opened a different door for me. The door which I thought to be impossible to open again. I entered the world of nursing again and everything start to get back on track until another hurly burly came again… and again … and again! There was even a time that I thought I was actually going to die. I thought it will never end. I started to think that life on earth is really meant for suffering and pain. But of course, it is proved to be wrong.
As of now, trials still come every now and then. I still battle with diabetes, I still undergo the pain of being away from my family, I still bear discomforts in life, I still don’t have anything and I still know nothing. I’m still that little me. But I do have peace and joy that surpasses all understanding.
What a journey it has really been. It’s just a year and yet I feel like it’s a decade or so. I’ve gained so much from all those experiences God has let me to go through. No school or books could have ever taught me of them.
Now that another year approaches my life, I will face it with excitement not fear. Thanksgiving not grudges and with a smile not tears. I’ve come this far in my journey… God deserves all the praises!
