blessed_shaula

I couldn’t get over with the thought that had dawned upon me yesterday afternoon. I came to HOLPFI office yesterday to drop off my USB to Arman and invite him for lunch before going to work at the hospital. It’s funny how I ended up having lunch with four other people. Rare are those moments! When I came to their office, I was surprised to find Mrs. Keiko Sakai and his son Ken still there. Mr. Sakai went back to San Andres because he left something there. That’s the reason why their trip was postponed. I purposely went there that afternoon because I thought the family had already left for Puerto Galera. Ate Susan was also there so I invited her for lunch as well. But then I felt guilty, so I asked Ken if he would like to join us. Eventually, all of them joined me including Mrs. Sakai.

I was thinking, this is now my time to be a blessing to them even in a small way by giving them a treat for lunch. I wanted to show them the Filipino hospitality. I’d like to invite them over my place but that wasn’t possible that time so I just brought them to Chowking. It’s funny how I managed to win the contest at the counter. They were insisting to pay but I had all what it takes to win. I was successful at my plans for treating them for the day’s lunch.

We were having a great time while eating our lunch when the subject of the conversation became me. At the back of my mind, I was saying, “uh-oh!”. But then, I thought it wouldn’t be that off. At least, they would get to know that there are still Filipinos like me. They asked me why I’m still here in the Philippines while the rest of my family is in US. That’s a question that requires long hours of explanation but I managed to answer short and precise… “I love my country”. They were very happy to hear that. I guess it’s not very often that they hear it. Then even the details of my work and schedule had become the topic. It was like I was on the hot seat! Little by little, I felt like melting. Mrs. Sakai then asked how I manage to have time with my friends if I’m always on my 16 hour night shifts. It was a very simple question that blew a horn on my face!

I didn’t know how to give them the answer on a way that wouldn’t put me into more awkward moment. It was the only time I realized how abnormal I am! I just told them most of my friends are not here. They are in Manila. Then it finally blew their mind! “What?!# your family is not here and your friends are not here too?” Like everyone else they must be thinking how lonely my life is. I hate it whenever people pity me. I am not a pitiful being. I have always believed I am a completely happy, fulfilled and accomplished person. It was only during that time that I started to realize how bizarre I am.

On my way to work, I couldn’t shake the idea off my mind. How do I usually spend my spare time when I’m off from work?, I asked myself. I read. I write. I eat. I sleep. I do house chores. I go to the beach. I watch the stars. I remember how I am being teased because I don’t watch TV. It never occurred to me before that there must be something wrong with me. My social life is my work… and the church. Sometimes, a time with my relatives.

Well, I am always excited to go to work because I love my job and the people I work with. They are my new friends now. Why would I still need to go out and have some “fun”? I am already having fun at work! I got to interact with a lot of people most of the time. I make new relationships and acquaintances every now and then. I have no problem with social skills. In fact, I have become good at it! But that doesn’t still shun the idea away…. There must be something I am missing. I wonder what it is?!